THE LAKE

A hack golfer spends a day at a plush country club, playing golf, enjoying the luxury of a complimentary caddy. Being a hack golfer, he plays poorly all day. Round about the 18th hole, he spots a lake off to the left of the fairway. He looks at the caddy and says “I’ve played so poorly all day, I think I’m going to go drown myself in that lake.” The caddy looks back at him and says “I don’t think you could keep your head down that long.”

 

AN ODD CURE

Peter was not feeling well, bad enough that his wife Sharon had to go and get the test results from the doctor. “Now Sharon, I don’t exactly know what the problem is – Peter may even die if he doesn’t get the right treatment. The only thing is the right treatment is going to seem a little strange. Peter needs to golf as often as he has strength and you need to give him all the sex he can handle.” Sharon nodded and left. When she got home, Peter was anxious to find out what his test results were. “Well, Sharon, what did Doctor have to say?” Sharon looked him straight in the face, “You’re gonna die.”

 

FUNNY QUOTES FROM LEE TREVINO

When I’m on a golf course and it starts to rain and lightning, I hold up my one iron, ’cause I know even God can’t hit a one iron. I’m going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.